Why do we fear change?
Change is hard. Maybe that is why we often fear it so much.
Once upon a time, I broke a three-year streak. After putting out a video on my YouTube channel every week, religiously, for 3 years, I chose to take a break.
What’s more, it was intentional. I almost caved. Was almost tempted to just put a short one up – a ‘Polly Filler’ if you will, but I was able to stay strong.
Sometimes you have to break things, to correct them. Like a leg sometimes needs to be re-broken to set it straight, this streak needed to be broken so I could step back and look at where I was going with the whole ‘Vlog’ thing.
It is always good to take stock and ask yourself “Where am I going?”
And an even better question might be “Do I really want to go there?”
Is change good? If it is, why do we fear it?
A blast from the past
I wrote a post over a year ago in which I discussed how I used to love making Youtube videos for my now long-defunct channel.
The realisation came that they weren’t focused on my topic anymore – initially my 40 x 40, and then later my Kettle List. This made me actually look at my content and notice, that a lot of it was filler; that I was just gibbering on and not really talking about anything.
It made me decide that I really should only make videos and update them when I have done something towards the list. Things had to change whether I liked it or not.
A few days after this epiphany, I was told my job would be changing. I would be moving departments and roles, and I was to have no choice in the matter.
This unwelcome news basically confirmed to me that there is no point ever getting comfortable as something will always come along and tip up your proverbial apple cart. Change is inevitable, whether we want it or not.
Have a healthy mindset
A healthy mindset would be one that embraces change and the opportunities it brings – so why do we fear change so much?
I very easily stopped with videos, as the choice was mine, but what about when you have no agency, as happens in workplaces or in other situations where you have no say in the matter. Why are these modifications so difficult for us?
First of all – you are not going mad. If that is any reassurance.
There is a word for this phenomenon. Metathesiophobia.
Metathesiophobia is the fear of change. In severe cases, it can actually result in suicidal thoughts as suffers feel that the constant changes that are part of everyday living mean they have no control over their own lives.
They are often people of strict routine, which makes any kind of progress, be that in their work or personal lives, very difficult.
The fear of change is a natural instinct; we are ingrained to crave routine and search out patterns as it helps us make sense of what is going on around us. When you know what your environment is, you feel more in control.
Being organised
I am a massive fan of organisation, the concept if not the actual execution. My love of lists is well documented throughout this blog, as is my penchant for decluttering. Bullet journaling is another of my passions, the idea of having all of the tasks I must perform laid out in front of me is very soothing – even if they do not all get done. Perhaps this links to the idea of control?
One of the most common reasons cited for this unwillingness to give up control is a fear of the unknown; people want to know all of the details before they jump in.
This is relatable. I can’t even watch a film unless I know who is in it, who is directing it and what it is about – I have even been known to sit on Wiki and IMDB looking films up as we watch them (not while in a cinema, of course, at home. There is a ring reserved in Hell for people who play with their phones in cinemas!)
You can only truly move forward with a new project if you are confident that it will benefit you at best, or not damage you at worst. People need to know that this step forward is better than the comfort of standing still.
Basically, we need to learn to overcome the impulse to push back against change, particularly if it is preventing a good change from occurring, or is keeping you in a negative space.
There is a Benjamin Franklin quote, “When you are finished changing, you are finished”. Perhaps having the ability to acknowledge change lets us know we are still alive.
Why Change is good:
And here I am, a whole year later.
This seems like a very prescient piece now, considering all the change that is going on around us; globally and politically.
It also means I have been in the ‘new job’ for over a year; long enough that I am at that stage where I am beginning to feel somewhat in a rut. Routine is all very well, but when it gets to the point where you feel you are just repeating the same tasks over and over again, then it really does become time to make a change.
Embracing change encourages you to develop flexibility
If I have learned anything during my midlife crisis, it is that you need to be willing to adapt.
If you choose to roll with the changes, it makes them easier; think ‘The Oak & the Reeds’. If you choose to embrace change it can help with improving your attitude.
Embracing change makes you grow
We are forced to adapt when we are confronted with change. This is turn give us opportunities to develop and grow. It also allows us to re-evaluate what we once thought about certain aspects of our lives.
Embracing change stops you getting too comfortable
It is easy to get into a routine, and not acknowledge what is going on around you.
Sometimes we get too comfortable, often to a point of complacency. It’s hard to realise how a situation might affect someone else if you only consider your own reaction to it.
Change gives you a chance to reassess how you do things to take other peoples ideas and feelings into account, allowing you to become a kinder and more compassionate person.
Over to you
Change is inevitable, and we’re better off learning to accept what we cannot change.
What is your relationship with ‘change’ ? How easy is it for you to adapt to new situations? Let us know in the comments.
And because it is my blog, here is a shameless plug of my upcoming Haiku Book in the form of a ‘Polly Quote’ – well, a haiku anyway.
