Writing a ‘Bucket List’: 5 tips to get you started on your new life

Have you considered writing a bucket list?

One of the reasons I started writing blogs in the first place was to speak my ‘bucket list’ out into the world.

The psychology behind it was that if I shared my tasks it would force me to complete them; public accountability and all that.

Over the last 4 years or so I have learned that is that there is more to having a bucket list than just writing down a list of far-flung destinations or exciting adventures.

I’m Polly, by the way, welcome to the ‘Pad’!

If you have read ‘the plan’ you will know that I started a list of things to do before I was 40…I didn’t finish it, and that is why we are all here today.

Mistakes were made, but they have enabled me to compile a list of tips that will help you create the best Bucket List ever.

What is a Bucket List?

The whole concept of ‘A Bucket List’ is a relatively new one. It was first noted as a term in 2006 following the release of the film of the same name. The idea is simple; it is a list of things you want to do before you die. As in before you ‘kick the bucket’.

Now it’s not like I am in total denial; I fully appreciate that I am going to pop off at some point. It is just that I feel that ‘Before I Die’ is a very unfocused time frame. You never get stuff done with a time scale like that; ‘Before I Die’ is not a SMART goal, is it?

According to the wisdom of the internet, being in your forties is not quite ‘Middle-Aged’.

It is getting towards it though, and I am ever conscious of time slipping away from me. Every minute I am not doing something useful, I feel I am wasting my life.

Maybe that is what a mid-life crisis is? A stark realisation that you can’t keep putting off these things you want to do until later. The thing is you now have less later than you did 20 years ago!

In fact, you will continue to have less and less “later” if you don’t pull your finger out.

Time to start doing those things you have always wanted to do. That is why item one of any Mid-life crisis survival kit should be: Your Bucket List.

My 40 x 40 List

As mentioned, my previous Bucket List was a 40 x 40. This was a hastily written list of 40 tasks, that I complied at 38, as I slowly acknowledged that the big 4-0 was upon me.

It was, essentially, a list of 40 things to do before I turned forty.

The number was picked to fit the age and as such, the list had a few things that were pure filler (Polly Filler?), such as ‘save money for a trip’ – which I was already planning on going on anyway.

I also made the cardinal mistake of not giving myself enough time to complete the tasks and ended up writing down things for the sake of it.

All in the planning

Therefore, the necessary planning work was not put in and the list remained annoyingly uncompleted as my 40th birthday passed.

There was a solution though: I wrote myself another list. This one was going to be better – I thought about each item on it, and I actually wanted to do them.

The second item that appeared on that list after “#1 sort your Blog out and promote living your best life” was to complete the 1st list that I had failed at.

So I now have a meta-inception-style list within a list dynamic going on, but it’s fine. I am totally on it, and I know exactly what I am doing – I have a list after all!

The New List

This new list is affectionately known as my Kettle List.

I am totally aware this concept will not catch on, you can call yours whatever you like. It was just that the idea of having a list that takes me up to death just seemed a bit unfocused, so calling it a ‘bucket list’ just wasn’t doing it for me.

Therefore, I now sit with a cup of something (generally coffee) and make even more lists and plans about how I intend to get the tasks on this list completed.

Despite the problems I had with the last list, this one is kind of a 50 x 50, merely in the sense that there are currently 50 things on it, but I fully intend to extend it when I get some new ideas.

I mean, It’s not like I intend to die before 50 anyway, I was thinking 92, and it would be of drink-fuelled, debauched extreme partying, preferably with a K-pop group around me.

_{(Note from 2020 Polly – can we just take a moment to acknowledge how I called it in terms of how popular K-pop would become. They called me mad in 2015 when I put my Spotify playlist on during uni field trips. I was obviously just ahead of the game!)}

I have learnt a lot about Bucket Lists though. In fact, I am currently writing a book on the subject. But until that finally gets finished (yes, finish my book is on the list) let me share my wisdom with you, and tell you why you definitely need to write one for yourself.

Why you need a list

The best bit about having your own list, particularly when you fill it full of fun things, is that it is totally flexible and you can change it up whenever you feel like it.

It isn’t like a to-do list, which needs to be completed; these are tasks you have personally chosen.

They should all be things that you really want to try or places you want to visit. There should be nothing on the list that you keep putting off.

This isn’t like that list of bills to pay or calls to make that you keep leaving undone! These are specially selected tasks, on a list you have created. This list willmake you focus and help you realise what you truly want out of life.

Starting your Bucket List

Maybe you have been thinking about writing a Bucket List for a while now. You may have even looked up a few of the ones that are currently online. It is possible you were met with super adventurous, expensive and far-flung suggestions that really aren’t for you.

Type the phrase ‘Bucket list’ into a search engine and it inevitability throws out ‘Visit the Pyramids’, or ‘Raft Down the Amazon’. These are all very exciting, but this kind of ‘one size list’ does not- in fact – fit all.

That is why I am not going to make any suggestions as to what should go on your list here. It is your list after all.

What I do have here are ideas on what you need to think about when writing your own bucket list.

There are no hard and fast rules for Bucket Lists. However, there are some basic elements you need to consider when you want to write one of your own.

5 tips to get you started on your new life

1) What is the purpose of your Bucket list?

Why are you writing the list? What do you want to achieve?
Do you want it to encourage you to try out new things?
To get outdoors more?
Try different foods?
Visit as yet unvisited places?
To do that one thing you have been putting off for years?
Make something?
Learn something new?

Do you notice that a large section of your list is to ‘see/visit/go to’ places? Are you not doing enough of that now?

Even if you do not achieve half of your list, making one will help you focus your ideas. It will also give you some insight into what you subconsciously want from life.

In a way, it will help you then decide what is important to you.

A list helps you highlight what you are thinking about and is a launchpad to other ideas and plans. Maybe you have listed lots of crafts you want to learn or things you want to make.

Is ‘Finish that book you’ve been writing for years’ on there? Are you setting aside enough time for yourself?; quality time to pursue the things that make you happy?

The act of writing this list may give you an insight into learning more about what you want. It will help you decide what it is you actually want to do with the rest of your life. 

2) Be Discerning

There is no perfect number of things to go on your list or time scale in which to do it; don’t make the mistake I made with my first list (and possibly continue to make with my Kettle List).

Avoid padding it out for some arbitrary reason, like “I need 40 things” for the sake of it.

Make an effort to write an honest Bucket List without restriction. That way, you won’t be including the tasks that ‘seem’ like the kind of thing that should be on a list.

Be honest about what you really want to do. Do you REALLY want to parachute over the Grand Canyon, or are you adding it because it sounds good?

If you really want ideas to kick-start your imagination, have a look at Pinterest.

I have started a Pinterest Board for you can have a nose at. But remember, only add things that speak to you.

Your list is a living document that you can continually add and subtract from, as your mood dictates.

3) This Bucket list is for you:

This is very important and should be the only reason you are completing any of the things on your Bucket List. The list is yours and you can have anything you want on it. It doesn’t matter if other people think it is ridiculous.

I have “Go into the sea up to my waist” on my list which some people would consider no challenge at all. But then they probably weren’t traumatised by the Med like I was! If you later decide “actually, I’ve changed my mind, I really don’t fancy doing that now” – that is fine. Cross it out and come up with something else… or not (see ‘Be Discerning ‘above)

4) Challenge yourself

There are two major pitfalls to avoid when writing your Bucket List. Making your list too easy, and making the list too challenging. I was very guilty of the former with my first list, although it subsequently became too challenging.

My list had both a time limit (turning 40) and a number of challenges to complete. I found myself adding things to the list which were not really a challenge, as I was aware that I did not have long to complete them.

It limited my imagination and made me reign in my actual desires. I knew I would not be able to, for example, visit America, or learn to drive, in the time given.

Have you ever written a to-do list and added a few things that you have already done just so you could cross them off? I get it, ticking things as ‘done’ is very satisfying, but as this list is for you, it needs to be an honest representation of what you are doing. If you have already done it, don’t add it to the list!

Of course, you might have done something that you want to develop. For example, I had ‘drive a car’ on my original list, which I have now changed to ‘pass my driving test’. If that is the case, why not look at converting something you have previously achieved by upgrading it and taking it to another level.

Conversely, the odds of some of us ever visiting space are on the low side; That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t put it on our lists if that is what we want to do. Obviously, the danger is that if the entire list is near impossible you may get bored with the whole enterprise.

Mix it up a little. Go for some ‘easy wins’ as well as some ‘epic dream’ ideas. This will help you create a list which has a bit of everything.

(I am in the process of writing a few articles about the wonder of lists and how to use them to get things done, so watch this space for tips on how to get the most from your list).

5) Take some time to reflect:

I apologise, but I am going to get all sociologist on you – blame #3 of my 40 x 40 List: Get a Degree! Every few months, you should revisit your list. Feel free to change it up, delete things if you need to, or add things if you discover a new dream.

You may, at some point become disheartened because you feel you are not ‘ticking enough boxes’. Stop and consider the things that you didn’t put on the list because you had already done them – In my case, things like White water rafting, abseiling, Travelling the Kalka – Shimla Railway, visiting the Caribbean (23 years ago…but it still counts!)

While we should always strive to be better, and to keep moving forward, if you don’t take the time to look back over all the things you have already done, you may not appreciate how far you have actually come.

So with all this in mind, what will you put on your list? New skills to develop? Places to visit? Personal health goals? Maybe you have your list already and so you can step it up a notch with this blog post.

I would love to hear what others would add to their list, and I would like to, once again, welcome you to Polly’s Pad: the blog, the Kettle list, and the next 10 or so years together as I complete my next set of challenges… or not, no pressure!

** I am painfully aware of the irony of me promoting a no-time-limit Bucket List model. Especially when mine is technically a 50 x 50. But I have learned a lesson and this list is very flexible and I am working on changes!