You can learn to be resilient
What does it mean to be resilient? Why is it an important skill to develop?
Consider this. What are you most scared of? Is it something rational, like spiders, heights, or the sea? (my sea-phobia is totally rational, okay!)
Maybe you overthink things that could happen, or about the opinions of other people.
The fact that other people may be thinking about you can be a major anxiety factor. What if they think badly? Or that you just aren’t any good at what you’re doing?
Fear of rejection, much like a fear of failure, can be crippling; you are placing yourself in a place of vulnerability and relying on others. It is why everyone should develop their resilience; to enable them to get up and move on when they are faced with trying times.
What is resilience and why do you need it?
All of us suffer knock backs from time to time, but what makes one person more able to get back up and keep going? Can you develop this skill or are you born with it? How do you become more able to cope with adversity?
A resilient person is someone with the ability to keep going, despite setbacks.
That is not to say it is someone who pushes through despite the odds; that is showing tenacity, and may actually be the wrong thing to do in some cases. It is one thing to keep trudging on, but there are no prizes for flogging dead horses!
Resilence is more about being able to bounce back after acknowledging the setbacks and then adapting to the new situation.
This quality is respected in the workplace and is a useful life skill. It can protect you in situations where you are facing hardship and give you the strength to cope with major stresses.
Being able to identify issues and adapt swiftly to cope with them in an optimistic way is an invaluable trait to develop.
To be able to do this requires a number of qualities, including knowing your personal limits, being self-reflective, and cultivating a positive mindset. The good news is that all of these skills can be learned – if you are willing to make the effort.
Be aware of your own energy levels
We have nothing to fear, but fear itself – apparently!
Yet fear is a common emotion that can make us feel isolated; as if we are the only people going through whatever our current situation is.
If we feel like this constantly, then we are very vulnerable to criticism. This can then make it hard to build up our resilience in the face of rejection.
That is why, before developing resilience we need to practice self-care; if our mental energy levels are raised, we are in a better position to move forward.
This can be done by reminding yourself that you are not alone. At some point everyone has an experience of rejection or pain. Contrite as it sounds, it is part of life, and you will get through it, as others have done.
Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t be controlled by them. Your mind and what you think is one of the few choices that no-one can take from you, so choose to be kind to yourself.
Your Best Friend
Luckily, we all have someone that knows when we work best, what we are capable of and what our triggers are… It’s you!
Try acting like your own best friend.
You know if you do your best work in the morning or if you don’t get into your groove until the afternoon.
It is also you that knows when you are taking on too much and what actions are likely to make you stressed.
Manage your energy levels, for example: doing more trying tasks when you feel most up to it, and knowing when to rest.
This will put you in a better physical and mental state to take on the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune – or maybe just someone telling you that you haven’t got that promotion this time.
Something as simple as staying on top of our rest, nutrition and hydration, can put us in a better position, should something unpleasant happen.
Over to you
How important is it to you to be resilient? Can you think of areas in your life where it could help you? What one thing can you do today to help you develop your resilience?